3 keys to being resilient

Life has its sucker punch moments.  There are times we feel we will never get back to feeling normal.  We will never bounce back from our personal crisis.  Many times, what happens isn’t always in our control.  To become resilient from the crisis, we can incorporate some changes that will help guide us through the metamorphosis.

1. Telling our story--When we are going through a personal crisis, one of the ways out is to tell our story.  There are a few ways to do that.
    • Journaling--We can write ourselves out of the pain or at least get a little relief and perspective, by writing in a journal.  Good advice is not to write in a fancy journal because we can censor our writing to live up to it’s beautiful cover.  Instead, take a spiral notebook and just write without any rules.  We give ourselves permission to get it all out and explore all that has been cluttering our head.
    • Confidant--Another way of telling our story is to find a confidant that will listen to us as we navigate our soul.  They will sit thoughtfully with us as we tell our story from all aspects of our thinking and as many times as we need until we are done. They will stand witness to our story without trying to fix it, taking sides, or gossiping about it,
    • Counseling--Finally, there is counseling.  When we have exhausted our resources, we can find a counselor that we are confident in and comfortable with to share our story.  Whereas, our friends and family may be tired of our story, we pay a counselor to listen to it as long as it takes for us to bounce back and understand why our life went in the direction it did and figure out what we can do to get out of the crisis.

    2. Raging--If we don’t get the anger out, it will fester and cause more harm, but we need to find therapeutic ways to release our anger and rage to keep from harming others.

    • Out loud--We can take a ride in the country where we can’t be heard and yell obscenities, say all the things we want to say, but to no one that it will harm.  We release the anger in a controlled environment.
    • Through a letter--We can write a letter we never mail, where we identify all the wrongs done to us.  We address our concerns and hurts, then we release it by burning the letter, shredding the letter, or some other way of destroying our angry thoughts.
    3. Changing the story--Once we have released our righteous indignation and felt our victimhood, it’s time to change our story.  If we remain in our suffering, we miss the opportunity to learn and grow from the experience.  We begin to change our story, find our well being, and be an example of resiliency for those around us.
      We all have our cross to bear and getting through to the other side takes work.  As much as we may wish for the magic wand to make it all better, it is the work that makes us resilient and strong.